Disgusted and Tired,
I wake up in my room
and watch men walking to their offices
like a group of penguins
I feel the air grew warm and sad for me
but not warmer than my quilt
I see the day bright
but some days you want to drink darkness
and have hangovers of past
of times when you were not having a penguin suit
but just a naked scarred soul which was afraid to live like so.
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When darkness creeps to my heart
and tames my fear back upon me,
when the ghostly haunting memories
flashes in my eyes
I try not to cave in
I try not to fear
the light inside me fights back
I look for people i love
I imagine their hopes on me
I see them smiling
I then become a spark
that glows till
there is no darkness
till there is hope
till there is love
till there is life.
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Toiling hard day and night,
looks tired at every sight,
for every dream in eyes,
lonesome cries
and few delights,
still walking down the road,
he never forgets to smile,
to wish people around,
learn something new
and share what he has,
be it food,
life
and laughter,
I wonder why they call him poor.
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Imagine a Fire without light,
just burning hot,but not bright,
like dark ashes breathing somewhere,
a poor and ordinary sight like this everywhere,
I see fire inside every living soul,
burning uselessly in meaningless chores,
when will I see lives burning bright,
fire and light trapped in dreamy eyes,
burn yourself now,not tomorrow my friend,
don’t leave even seconds to repent,
die in this fire,let it consume your heart,
reincarnate from ashes,with a new start,
Like a Phoenix and absolutely nothing else.
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Left cold alone,
in a blanket nude,
lies my love singing,
waiting for you,
to watch me all night,
while i hold her again,
to kiss me everywhere,
to forget all pain,
I love her dearly,
but i have more mistresses too,
All willing to lie with me,
to see me through,
my shelves are full of them,
new ones come every month
only the smell remains same,
like books there is none.
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Within us,
everyone of us,
bodies of lie live,
the lies range from person to person,
some lie about their fears,
some lie about failures,
some about the strength they have,
some of the courage they hold,
the weight and scream of these bodies,
drag us down from the peaks,
make us fall,
make us nervous,
stop us from achieving goals,
because we have a habit of burying the past
and not facing it.
On a fateful day,
bring up those bodies,
and burn them till you suffer,
with lies,
the suffering is temporary,
the scars are mere signs,
that you are not ashamed of the truth,
that you face the world without lies,
just bring up those bodies and incinerate them
with the past you never wanted
and one day,
the peak will be yours,
you won’t feel the scars,
just the truth and nothing else.
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Except from the “Rum Diary”.
She – Not going gloom on us ,are you? Sitting alone?
I – Apologies,nothing like that.
She – What is the book about you reading?
I – It’s Rime of the Ancient Mariner, was written by a junkie when he was 22, I am 24 now, I have been carrying a typewriter for past two years..I have written nothing.
She – Don’t say like that, you have written a few novels.
I – They have no voice.
“This conversation still gives me goosebumps.”
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Writings to Heaven 