I once wrote for others
chaps so full of literature,
they would puke sonnets.
Women with legs
wearing beautiful stockings
looking like Ballads.
But they never read.
They were so full of themselves
and I wasn’t full of myself anywhere,
It took me a year of my life
to realize that
I won’t be full of myself
anytime soon.
You fuckers reading this.
Let me know,
When I’m Done.
come raise your glasses
to this season of defeats,
lets make them a blur.
If love is a raging sea
then leave me to drown,
till my heart becomes a memory.
Slip away sometimes
from the edges of sweet dreams
did the music fade?
To be close to the ocean
but cannot get your feet wet.
To the smell the salty air
but cannot breathe.
To see the crimson horizon
but cannot remember.
To see your dog lying next to you
but cannot pet him.
To conjure all the words for the ocean
but cannot write.
To sleep well all your life
but cannot dream.
To love someone all your life
but cannot have them.
Sometimes you lick my fingers, instead of doing what is to be done.
Sometimes I lick your nipples instead of doing what is to be done.
Sometimes we are not we, when nude.
Sometimes we are but not nude.
I keep remembering everything.
About that warm winter.
The cubicle welcomes you
come now sit, go through your e-mails
do your work proudly.
No! Don’t let your eyes wander outside,
it is just a beautiful tree in wind,
just a pond with ripples of water ,
There are no shapes out of them that you can imagine.
There are no memories in their shadows.
This silence ain’t whispering you to write.
Close the notepad.
Just don’t write a new poem again.
Don’t be maniacal.
You need caffeine,
to drift away from your thoughts.
Just fuck them, right?
You gotta work now.
Just don’t search now on the web,
How Hemingway blew his head,
How Sylvia path asphyxiated herself while
her children were asleep,
How Fitzgerald’s heart betrayed him,
How Kerouac died of cirrhosis,
How that old lazy fat fuck Bukowski
told you once to go all the way
otherwise don’t even try.
You are not one of them,
You shall not be one of them.
you are drinking your chaos within,
they all gave in,
they couldn’t drink it.
but you are drowning it in caffeine
and shitting out tons of work.
you shall survive.
if you want to.
But I know you won’t.
I can see it in your eyes,
so go on write then
as you always have.
Make it worth it.
Don’t drink the chaos within
Ever.
Writings to Heaven 